Dark Night of the Soul: We cannot understand the heartache of others, so we should not pretend to do

As many of you know who have followed my story, two years ago today, my family and I fled for our lives through burning wildfires that were consuming the mountains in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. We believed we were going to die and came mighty close to that finality. We lost everything in the wildfires except what was most important – each other. Fourteen people died in that fire two years ago today, thousands of homes burned, and many more thousands of lives were changed forever. I’m sure many of you have events you survived that shook you to your core.

Tragedy and trauma are life changers. I’ve heard it said (and was told this during my own trauma): “What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.” This statement is not even close to being true, at least in the beginning of our healing phase.

Sometimes our tragedies kill us slowly from the inside out.

One of the keys to healing from depression, loss, and grief, I discovered, is to find real purpose and meaning within the loss. So this has become one of my life goals and focuses of my client healing practice – to help people suffering any level of grief, loss, PTSD, or depression find the tools to heal so they can bring joy back into their lives. Healing isn't always easy, there is no one miracle answer or cure, and it takes work.

In a few months, I will be releasing my next book, "Dark Night of the Soul." The book isn’t 200 pages of my grief story – I wouldn’t bore you with that. Instead, it’s about using the healing techniques of those that came before us to heal from our own grief situations. It can be done, it is possible. And if you have no relief after you’ve read my book, I hope you will come visit me at my healing studio in the Great Smoky Mountains so together we can search out a solution for you.

If anyone you know is suffering from loss, depression, or grief, the one important thing you can really do is be there for them. No matter how many times they need to tell you their "story" or just need someone to sit and hold their hand – JUST DO IT. Most grief sufferers don’t need pity, unsolicited advice, or commentary because each of us grieves differently and, frankly, we cannot compare the level of our grief to the grief episodes of others. We are all unique and have different healing needs. Just be there. It’s that simple.

We cannot understand the heartache of others, so we should not pretend to do so.

Amen. — Much love, Amara